When Your World Seems to Fall Apart

Many of you who have been with me for a long time will have noticed that I have not written in a very long time.

On the 1st September this year my beautiful mum went to be with her Lord in Heaven. Whilst it is a joy to know that she is no longer suffering or in pain, it has been a struggle earth side.

To say I miss her is an understatement. She has been the source of so much joy and so much frustration in my life. We navigated some really tough times together and we had some incredibly fun times.

Our journey as mother and daughter was at times difficult. Mum was a perfectionist and I am not. She constantly was on my case about absolutely everything in my life. I had to tackle some very big negative emotions and feelings towards her and I did it. It took me almost 2 years of therapy, but I know that had I not done that, I would not be able to say that I love deeply her and miss her more than I could have imagined.

Life is very short and I am a firm believer that the choices we make in life either make it a joy or a chore. I made the choice to not be content to sit in a difficult place with my mum. I needed to work out what part I played in our difficult relationship and do what needed to be done so that we could enjoy life together. Our last 8 years together were wonderful. I learned much about her and her struggles in life. We shared some precious moments I will never forget.

Only you can decide if you are ready or prepared to confront yourself in matters that relate to broken or difficult relationships. I am not here to tell you what you should or should not do. All I encourage you to do is at least be prepared to evaluate whether the relationship is worth it and if it is – then you will not regret one moment of taking the journey to repair what is broken.

I am in the process of putting some thoughts down about the journey of grief. Not a handbook on how to handle it because that is not possible – everyone navigates it differently and it affects each person differently. No, my thoughts are about my journey. Hopefully they might be helpful to someone out there.

Be blessed and remember you are loved.