Have you ever gone through a stage where you ‘felt’ like you were invisible?
I have been going through that lately. I have walked into rooms and spoken to people who have looked straight past me to the person behind me. I have said hello to people and they have not responded at all. Just this past weekend I was sitting in a room filled with people all chatting with each other and ‘felt’ completely invisible as no-one was speaking to me.
It is simply the worst feeling. The majority of us want to be noticed – oh not in a big ‘look at me’ kind of way, just simply being acknowledged or talked to. I am not talking about attention seeking behaviours. I have been through that kind of lifestyle (read my blogs entitled My Insta Self to see my story). I am just simply talking about when you walk into a room and say hi to someone – they respond to you either by a smile, a wave or by coming and chatting with you.
This feeling of ‘invisibility’ has caused my inner voice to begin to whisper things to me like ‘there must be something wrong with you’ ‘you are ugly’ ‘you must have done something wrong’ ‘when people aren’t talking to you they are talking about you’. It has been one statement after another and it has become very tiring. I have really slipped down the rabbit hole of beginning to believe that I need to do something about myself.
Yesterday afternoon I went and chatted with my psychologist about this. It is always very interesting to me the things that come out when you sit and chat through these things. I actually don’t need to change anything about myself, except one thing. I need to learn how to be content in all situations and in all circumstances. You see, it is all about being confident enough in myself that it really doesn’t matter if people talk to me or acknowledge me. Their opinion of me doesn’t define who I am. As a Christian, there is only one opinion that matters to me and that is my Father God. And, the greatest thing is His opinion of me is one of love and acceptance. Even when I fail. Even when I fall. Even when I am at my lowest point.
He wants the absolute best for me and He is the One who knows me absolutely, even better than I know myself and He still loves me, accepts me and wants the very best for me. So, I need to remember that and be confident when I walk into a room that I am who I am in Him and I do not need the validation of others.
Of course, it is always nice to have people see you, but we need to learn to live above that and not be dependent on it. It is an interesting observation that, if I am walking into a room and feeling invisible, how many others who are in that room are feeling the same way. We become so absorbed with whether we are being noticed or not, we forget to engage others in conversation.
So, be yourself, be confident in who you are and join in.
Captivating Freedom 