Any of you who have been to Colour Conference know that they always are dropping confetti filled balloons on us or firing confetti on us from confetti canons – it is always so much fun. Well, it was the first full day of conference and again we began with worship. There had been no confetti fired over us at this stage. We were worshipping and I had my hands out. As I held my hands up in worship – from nowhere a single piece of heart shaped confetti dropped on me. I looked around to see if it was falling everywhere, but it was not – this was the only piece of confetti. It was a bit, I don’t know what words to use here – it was surreal. I sat down and looked at this heart. In the head space I was in, I felt that it meant something. I quietly pondered what God was trying to tell me and I picked up my pen and wrote the word HELD on it. What a beautiful reminder that God was not going to let me walk this on my own.
After such a fabulous weekend, I felt really great when I got home. I could not wait to get to my appointment and talk about – whatever would come out. There was a sense of anticipation of the good that was to come of this.
As we began our session, my Psychologist asked me how I went with the homework she had given me – to seriously consider if I wanted to continue with our sessions.
I talked about intentionally taking time out to think it through and consider all the pro’s and cons of the situation. I then explained what I felt I had been shown as I sat there at the Lake. I shared about the weekend at Colour and the confirmation through all the experiences that this was something I had to do.
She was really happy that I had taken the time to think the next phase of our sessions. She then went on to explain why she had done that. She wanted me to understand that things were about to get very difficult and there would be days when I would want to walk away and not continue. Intentionally taking the time to consider carefully whether I wanted to continue would give me an something to hold on to. The memory of this decision-making process would act as an anchor point reminding me that I had consciously made the decision to do whatever was necessary.
I didn’t realize just how tough it was going to be, but things were about to get very real…..
Captivating Freedom 