I did not know what was happening in my mind, but I knew that I no longer knew what was truth and what was a lie. Once upon a time I would have put, what was an exaggeration, but the truth is much of my life was a lie.
My boss came in to my office that very same day I saw who I was in the mirror and popped a card on my desk. He simply said “She is really good.” I saw that the card had the name of a Psychologist on it. Now, a certain doctor some time ago told me that I needed to see someone, but no way I was going to go to a ‘shrink”. I mean what would people think? AND all she will want to do is put me on drugs and I was most certainly not needing drugs – no way.
Weeks passed, we had Christmas and we had begun a new year and my anxiety levels were through the roof. I knew that some of what I was feeling was related to my mum. She had been living with us since our son was a baby and she was not as well as she used to be and I found myself worrying about her being in the house on her own and just all those stresses that go with caring from someone who is aging.
I went back to work in January and had one of the biggest panic attacks I had ever had. I was in the office on my own and I was in a whole world of trouble. I had no-one to call on as the rest of the staff had not yet returned to the office for the beginning of the year. Once it subsided – I reached for the card that my boss had given me and I made the phone call. I was scared.
I was able to secure an appointment in two weeks. I found out subsequently that this was a miracle in itself because appointments with this psychologist were hard to get.
Step one had now been taken……..
Captivating Freedom 