I truly believe to this very day that this was the voice of God and I have held these words in my heart and still do to this very day.
I sat and watched as more and more people were given opportunity to preach and I knew that one day, this would also happen to me. There were times when I would get upset because I was being judgemental and I knew that I had to release this promise back to God because I was impatient and I was not carrying it as I was supposed to.
One day I remember clearly, I walked into the Pastor’s office and asked to speak to him. I told him what I believed God had spoken to me and he smiled and gently said “Thanks for that.” I am not sure what I expected to happen, but I remember feeling incredibly embarrassed. What if I got this all wrong? However, nothing could ever take these words I had heard from me. I continued to believe God would do as He said and I held these words deep in my heart.
Have I ever to preached – yep, I did a share preach one day. I shared my testimony on a few occasions. Each time – I have been incredibly nervous, but as soon as I began to share – it felt like that is where I was meant to be. I have come to realise that there is a lot I need to learn and understand before any of what God had said that day could eventuate. And I am really at peace with that. The journey thus far has been pretty hard but also pretty amazing. Now why did I share that?
Oh yes – back to the panic attacks. One morning I was getting ready for work and as I was applying my make up, for some reason, I was going over the words I believe God had spoken all those years ago. I said to God – “What does a captive look like” – I heard the voice again, that same voice I had heard and it simply said “look in the mirror”.
Immediately I knew what a captive looked like – it was me.
Captivating Freedom 