Of course life is life and it continues to roll on ahead, even if you feel like everything has come to a standstill. I could not move past this intense feeling that something was just not right. I thought that there was something physically wrong with me. I even went to that dark place of believing that I was dying and no-one wanted to tell me.
I began to go through all kinds of tests. I would make believe I was really sick so that the doctor would send me for more and more tests. Every test came back negative and with each negative I would just create something else that could be wrong with me.
I was chatting with someone at church one Sunday and as I was sharing about an experience I had had earlier in my life – my inner voice was saying “did that really happen?” I found this question arising more and more every time I shared a story from my past. At first I wasn’t too worried and just shrugged it off as my mind playing tricks on me.
But then one day I found as I was sharing my experience, my heart began beating really fast and I became a bit breathless. I felt like I was hyperventilating but couldn’t figure out why. This passed and didn’t happen again for a little while. However, next time I was sharing with someone, it happened again and then again and again. Now, I was really concerned. I had gone through all these tests and knew I was perfectly healthy – so what on earth was going on?
Captivating Freedom 