The problem with lying is that you tell one but you have to have a very good memory. You have to remember what you have told people otherwise, you get in to all kinds of trouble. Then, if you have told a lie and someone wants to pursue the story – you have to tell another one to support the first one you told etc etc.
The next period of my life was pretty horrible. I was getting myself in to all kinds things I had never done before. I considered myself an adult now and I began going out on a weekend – to the pubs. I was still only 16. It is incredible what you can make yourself believe. I started going consistently to one pub and started to get to know people there. I was so proud of the fact that when I walked in the bar staff knew my name and my drink. I had fun, playing pool and just hanging with people who didn’t really expect anything of me.
One night I was at the pub and I had been chatting with a group of people. I wanted to head on down to a local dance club and one of the guys in the group offered to walk me there. He told me that it wasn’t safe for girls to walk the streets alone. What a nice guy right!
I was so naïve.
Unfortunately, he was not nice and he was only looking out for himself. On the way down to the club, he said he wanted to call in to his place to pick something up, it was on the way. I agreed. Stupidly I went inside with him. He attempted to rape me but one thing my stepfather did do was teach me to fight. I fought and was able to get away and I ran for dear life to the nearest house. The people there took me to the nearest ambulance station. I had seriously twisted my ankle and was very shaken. The police were called.
Of course, I was now in big trouble. I was only 16 and I had been at a pub. I had to have all kinds of examinations done and then went through an horrific court case where they were trying to prove that I was a ‘bad’ girl who had agreed to this encounter.
It was such a role reversal for me. Here I was telling the absolute truth and there were a group of people – lawyers trying to prove I was lying. How strange. Now I desperately wanted people to hear the truth. I found it really frustrating. When you think about it, how ironic that I had been living my life telling lies and now here I was telling the truth and no-one believed me. I barely survived.
I clearly remember sitting in my kitchen with my mum after the case was over and I accidently bumped my twisted ankle with my bracelet and I began to cry. I began to sob. I could not stop. I do not have any clarity about what happened next, but I do know that I was admitted to a private hospital for a short period of time. I believe I had what used to be called a mental breakdown.
When I was discharged I went to live with my grandparents. This was an opportunity for me to begin again – AGAIN.
Captivating Freedom 